Myriad Advantages (Part 1)
I have been married for almost 6 years, and often am drawn to recall scenes from a movie and a television show. The movie was Woody Allen’s Bullets Over Broadway, and the TV show was Monty Python’s Flying Circus.
In Bullets Over Broadway, Dianne Wiest’s character is constantly telling John Cusack’s character, “Don’t speak, don’t speak!”, every time he is about to open his mouth. In Monty Python’s “The Importance of Not Being Seen” episode, each character that is seen, comes to an untimely end.
I guess that we men are meant to be icebergs in our marriages; when 90% of our thoughts remain inside, or expressed to others appropriately, then our women are less apt to become upset. Their emotional instruments are sometimes so finely strung that the slightest input can cause great upset.
Not being seen equates to not being heard: “Don’t speak!”. Conversely, we men need to listen and respond to our wives, and practice “Drive-Through Listening”, where we repeat back what we heard our wives say, having first listened intently.
I think I am like most men, in that I tune out my wife often, when she is talking to me; sometimes the information is key, and sometimes, perhaps not, but in any case, our women need to feel that they are heard, and that is so key to successful marriage relationships.
If you are in a relationship and your woman is not happy with you, try to listen actively to her, and if she wants a response, don’t try to fix the issue, but respond by letting her know what you heard her say. You may see things improve a lot.